I love the rain!!!

So, I went on vacation and didn’t bring my book. So I am trying to catch up. After reading the two chapters on ancient ruins I feel really hopeful and excited. I remember doing this lesson five years ago and hating it. I was so sick and tired of dredging up my depressing lineage and analyzing the unavoidable generational sin. This time I read something that completely altered my perspective. “Perhaps on our own determination we have bent them a little, (ancient cycles) but they’ll never break with out God. And He ordinarily will not rebuild what is not broken.” So in all my years of bearing down and refusing to follow in the sin of those before me I only made a small dent. I white knuckled my way through different lengths of sobriety. I crawled my way down periods of freedom. I never fully gave them to God to BREAK!!! Maybe I thought about it. I might have even tried. I gave things in pieces, never fully surrendering. Out of fear and uncertainty I clung to small pieces of those chains. All this time I have been waiting for God to rebuild and restore me. I keep my eye out for this glorious thing He is going to erect from my pain. He is still waiting to break the old stuff. My husband does construction. Recently we have been talking about remodeling our house. It is older and poorly built. My thoughts were, we should tear it down, rebuild the foundation and create our dream home on the beautiful property we own. He says that will be much more costly and difficult. It will be quicker, easier and more financially beneficial for us to just disguise the flaws and cover up the poor craftsmanship with superficial upgrades. So I was trying to make a practical comparison. I don’t know if it made sense. I have let God have bits and pieces of my bondage, pain and cycles. Then I anxiously waited for this beautiful, effective, purposeful life to appear. What I got was temporary glory, brief periods of victory, small windows of freedom. But in the end the rotten foundation and weak walls crashed down. So I am so excited about this revelation. I am completely aware of the negative, destructive, deeply sinful ancestors. Now I need to lay them down at the feet of Jesus and believe that in HIS power the boundary stone can be moved back to it’s rightful place.