Tough Love in the Workplace
In last weeks assignment, the first person I thought of that is difficult to love is someone I work with.
I have worked with this person for almost eight years and we are as different as night and day. She was in her third year at the company when I started and on the fast track in her career. She is very smart, ambitious, driven, loyal and 100% focused on business. This job has become her life, literally, and she works 24/7 almost all of the time.
She is very direct in her communication, and tends to impose her work ethics on our employees, who report to her. Our employees, we only have about 10, are salaried and most of the time work many hours, usually late nights and weekends, in which they aren't reimbursed for (i.e. comp time, extra day off, etc...). I will receive emails from her anytime someone comes in late, or has a doctor's appointment or any other reason thay will be gone for a little while. There are more examples but I'll stop here.
When I went back to work, my boys were 2-1/2 and 6 and we had 2 years left in our co-op preschool. I hadn't planned on returning to work until my youngest was in 1st grade, so I was scared about working again (I was at home for 6-1/2 years), worried about finding child care, and overall emotional and angry about having to rearrange my life (and the kids) because of a decision my husband made. But that's another story!
Now that you have an idea of where I was in my life when I started this job and where she was in her life, you can see how different our worlds were. There have been many occasions over the years where we have disagreed and rubbed each other the wrong way but we're both still there. I have had to hold back my words and agree to things I thought were "wrong" or "unjust" to keep peace.
I do have respect for her, as I had similar work ethics before I had kids. I still have high standards, but family has to come first, then work, and some days it is a challenge.
About three years ago, her mom had gone to the ER with a terrible headache. It turned out she had a brain tumor that was inoperable and given less than a year to live. That year was so hard for her. She is an only child and was helping her dad take care of her mom and go to all of the doctor appointments, and she had many, while keeping up the same pace at work. Eventually, she was trained on how to give her mom daily shots and was commuting from Tacoma to Seattle (she lives in Seattle within walking distance to work). Her mom passed away on October 6, 2005.
I truly felt sad for her and cried often. She had spent so much time working and I don't remember her talking about her parents much until this happened. Her dad was about to retire from Alaska Airlines, he was a pilot, and her mom was an elementary school teacher. They were planning on traveling and enjoying each other until the cancer made that impossible. Did I mention that this co-worker of mine is only 31.
I gave her hugs and encouragement during that time and my heart ached for her. I couldn't imagine what she was going through and being in a working environment it was best to keep focused on work.
A few months ago, I came to work on a Monday morning and was told that my boss had received a call that morning about a former employee who had died over the weekend. He was only 32 and had died of an unexpected brain anurysm, leaving his wife and son who turns 1 next week. He worked for us for 3 years and left us last October to pursue his dream of being a lawyer. This brought back alot of the pain she experienced with her mom, and we were also saddened by this loss tremendously.
The reason I want to have agape love for her is because we are all unique individuals and have different goals and dreams, and that's okay. I discovered that underneath the image she projects at work, she is genuinely a good person and has a good heart. She has a huge responsibility at work and still makes me tense, but I try to smile more and realize that with the love I have received from God, I will be okay.
My plan is to continue to be open to her and keep smiling, and say a prayer for her once in a while.
I have worked with this person for almost eight years and we are as different as night and day. She was in her third year at the company when I started and on the fast track in her career. She is very smart, ambitious, driven, loyal and 100% focused on business. This job has become her life, literally, and she works 24/7 almost all of the time.
She is very direct in her communication, and tends to impose her work ethics on our employees, who report to her. Our employees, we only have about 10, are salaried and most of the time work many hours, usually late nights and weekends, in which they aren't reimbursed for (i.e. comp time, extra day off, etc...). I will receive emails from her anytime someone comes in late, or has a doctor's appointment or any other reason thay will be gone for a little while. There are more examples but I'll stop here.
When I went back to work, my boys were 2-1/2 and 6 and we had 2 years left in our co-op preschool. I hadn't planned on returning to work until my youngest was in 1st grade, so I was scared about working again (I was at home for 6-1/2 years), worried about finding child care, and overall emotional and angry about having to rearrange my life (and the kids) because of a decision my husband made. But that's another story!
Now that you have an idea of where I was in my life when I started this job and where she was in her life, you can see how different our worlds were. There have been many occasions over the years where we have disagreed and rubbed each other the wrong way but we're both still there. I have had to hold back my words and agree to things I thought were "wrong" or "unjust" to keep peace.
I do have respect for her, as I had similar work ethics before I had kids. I still have high standards, but family has to come first, then work, and some days it is a challenge.
About three years ago, her mom had gone to the ER with a terrible headache. It turned out she had a brain tumor that was inoperable and given less than a year to live. That year was so hard for her. She is an only child and was helping her dad take care of her mom and go to all of the doctor appointments, and she had many, while keeping up the same pace at work. Eventually, she was trained on how to give her mom daily shots and was commuting from Tacoma to Seattle (she lives in Seattle within walking distance to work). Her mom passed away on October 6, 2005.
I truly felt sad for her and cried often. She had spent so much time working and I don't remember her talking about her parents much until this happened. Her dad was about to retire from Alaska Airlines, he was a pilot, and her mom was an elementary school teacher. They were planning on traveling and enjoying each other until the cancer made that impossible. Did I mention that this co-worker of mine is only 31.
I gave her hugs and encouragement during that time and my heart ached for her. I couldn't imagine what she was going through and being in a working environment it was best to keep focused on work.
A few months ago, I came to work on a Monday morning and was told that my boss had received a call that morning about a former employee who had died over the weekend. He was only 32 and had died of an unexpected brain anurysm, leaving his wife and son who turns 1 next week. He worked for us for 3 years and left us last October to pursue his dream of being a lawyer. This brought back alot of the pain she experienced with her mom, and we were also saddened by this loss tremendously.
The reason I want to have agape love for her is because we are all unique individuals and have different goals and dreams, and that's okay. I discovered that underneath the image she projects at work, she is genuinely a good person and has a good heart. She has a huge responsibility at work and still makes me tense, but I try to smile more and realize that with the love I have received from God, I will be okay.
My plan is to continue to be open to her and keep smiling, and say a prayer for her once in a while.
posted by Anonymous | 10:35 PM
2 Comments:
Teri
What a beautiful and perfect example of love...thank you so much for taking the time to share it!
I'm glad that you are there to love on this woman in her times of need. I hope that as you do, opportunities will occur for you to share more of Jesus with her. Thanks for sharing this with us!
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