My whole life I have always felt that I was made to do something big. I have always known that God has a plan to use me but I have never really known what I am supposed to do and have never really been satisfied with any of my accomplishments. The past year I have felt like a wanderer. I did find some direction when I found Canyon Creek and all the amazing people that have poured into me and helped and guided me. It has been a building year with quite a bit of refining that has been done. I know that there is plenty more to do and it isn't going to be easy. When I try to do life on my own it's like I take 6 steps backward on the path. It is me learnging and growing closer to God that is going to get me where I need to go, not worrying about how I'm doing in life and how I compare to other people my age. I've been so worried about how I look compared to others, that I might have missed out recognizing what God has done in my life and what I have been able to do for others because of His grace and mercy....and patience.

So that's it. I'm praying that my desire for more of Jesus would overcome all the little things that distract me from him. That I would have the faith and the courage to be a light among the darkness. That the people around me would see the change and wonder "what happened to her because I want that." I want to have more of the Holy Spirit, and be more sensitive to the voice of the Lord. I'm also praying that there would be restoration in my family this holiday season, that miracles would happen in the lives of my dad and his sister who haven't talked in probably 7 to 10 years. I'm also praying that God would do miracles in my life and that I wouldn't be blind to them. That I would have an inward view to remove the plank so that I could see the speck. That I would not judge and that I would have mercy and grace for the people around me. Also that I would pray more not just for myself, but for the people around me, the church, and so much more. Like Di says, prayer is a powerful thing and we have a God who listens.

I'm writing these things down in a place where I can't lose it and forget, and also in a place that you can see it and hopefully pray for me as well. I do get discouraged, and I do sometimes want to quit, but I am learning to put all my hope, and all my trust in the Lord.