I also don't have my book yet...any day now!

I did read Habbakuk & he starts out with "How long will I cry & you not hear?" I think of the times that I've felt this...

After I had my son my emotions, hormones & health started declining. It was easy to ignore at first and struggle through...I believed that it was just a hiccup & that God would see me through. After 7 years of this progressing I totally felt that God was not listening. My faith started wavering.

Then Habbakuk says "I will stand my watch" - he decided to take a stand and not give up (at least that's my interpretation). Then later he said "Yet, I will rejoice in the Lord."

I finally made a decision 4 years ago to take a chance & believe again that God would somehow make my health better as nothing else worked. In the midst of what I felt was a beaten down relationship with God, I desired for Him to give me the strength to believe, have faith & even pray. I knew that even if I didn't "feel" like praying that I needed that connection with God; I needed to persevere in spite of how I felt and what was happening.

Habbakuk ends by saying, "The Lord is my strenth, He will make my feet like deer's feet and He will make me walk on my high hills."

Even now, this causes tears to well because my strength has to come from the Lord as I'm all out. The strength to pray & believe & continue moving forward; but God has been faithful & somehow, one day at a time, my health has improved. The heaviness that daily life and responsibliities can bring has been lighter & to know that my God can literally "make my feet like deer's feet" is absolutely refreshing. To know & experience the lifting of the heaviness can only come from my God!