Struggle to Separate

I think that this week I am ashamed to admit, but pride has gotten in the way and I have been delaying my post. I read Heather's post and agree that I could easily attribute my struggle to separate to busyness and responsibilities or at least to my infatuation with my pillow. :)

If I am really honest, I think the times that I don't seek time with God is a faith issue. That is hard for me to admit because it doesn't mesh with the person I like to think I am and definitely not the person I want others to see. The real issue is that I fall into feeling like I am going to be let down and that that the time I try to spend with God will be just squandered time. I think that the enemy wants me to believe that God isn't going to show up when I attempt to spend time with him. I spent a LONG time in a very dry desert time where I really struggled to feel, see, or experience God at all, despite what I felt were really honest, faithful attempts on my part. I still don't understand God's purpose or reason for that long dry spell- and likely will never know- at least until heaven.

God recently did really show up (or at last I finally noticed) for me and it was awesome. I do not want to fall back into my unbelief- this is where the day to day busyness can get in the way. I do not want to forget God's faithfulness or contribute results to other factors. I could probably go on and on... Thanks for letting me share.