Dear Sisters,
I miss you all and I want you to I pray for you continually. This weeks lesson really spoke deep to my heart. Being in a Christian for almost 19 years and being in ministry for 16 years, I am constantly learning the lesson of truthfulness. I have become very good at making the outside look good. I do and say the right things. I work on looking like that perfect reflection of Jesus. I even can lie to myself and think everything is fine on the inside. I have become very good at covering up my sin but I realize it is still there underneath the layers and layers of good things I try make myself into. I try to tell myself it will be ok as long as no one else know and I control myself. The problem is it always finds a way out and I can't hide anything from God. I recently have been struggling with stuff and I asked myself "where did this come from?" I tried to tell myself I was doing really well at being like Jesus. Unfortunately a small weed seed can still grow under the surface and entangle your whole being. My Cambodian friend and I were talking the other day about sin and how it entangles our lives so easily. She said it is like a mango tree. They grow very slowly and unassuming. We forget about them but then one day they produce fruit. She said that is like sin. It starts very small and grows slowly. We try to ignore it and cover it up or lie to ourselves that we can handle it. Then one day we see the fruit from that sin. I find I don't like to listen to God's truthful voice because I have already decided about my sin. I needed to open up and let him power wash my heart and let light into all the dark places. I encourage all of you to find someone who you trust and open up to them. Pray that God will show you what needs to be changed and what needs to be brought out into the light before it comes exploding out and taking casualties with it. I have a friend here in Cambodia who does not judge me and i can be completely honest with, even when it shows the ugly things inside of me. It is so freeing to be able to have someone pray for the real issues and someone who can keep me accountable to stay pure and truthful before God. Blessings, Tabi