Distortions of Truth

This study hit home for me pretty hard. Not only in what our church is facing now, but things I am dealing with personally. One thing I am realizing about myself is that I am truly naïve. If something sounds good (even if it doesn’t sound necessarily good, but could be true), and it comes from someone I look up to, and respect, especially if it is on a subject I have not been educated on, I tend to believe it without question. Sometimes it is because I am lazy and do not want to put in the effort to find out if the information is credible, and sometimes it is just because I dare not question the source.

On the other hand, sometimes things seem right on the surface, and outside input seems to support it, but in my heart I just feel like something is off. Now here’s where it gets tricky… is my intuition so off that good things seem bad, and bad things seem good? And what happens when something that seemed good at first, all of a sudden feels bad? This area of my life is driving me absolutely nuts! WHAT IS TRUTH?!

I know that just because I feel uneasy about something that does not make it inherently bad or untrue. Just like Priscilla Shirer said in the chapter, “This kind of truth [the Bible] doesn’t depend on how you feel or what you think, because whether you believe it or not, it is pure truth.” (p 110) But is it bad of me to avoid things that make me uneasy? I am not talking about “out of my comfort zone” uneasy, I am talking about “something about walking down that dark alley alone doesn’t feel right” uneasy.

When something can not be found in the Bible, where do I turn? I know I can not use the Bible as a “situational guide” but perhaps the real question is how do I find situational truth in the Bible? What happens when, as you get to know someone, you find out they are not who you thought they were? What happens when a relationship you thought could grow is exposed under a different light and potential is stifled? What do you do when there is uneasiness in your heart about something even when others seem to think everything is okay? Be it at work, in church, at school, whatever… when do we trust our gut? A better question, how do we know if our gut is on the same wavelength as God’s Truth? I used to think my intuition was pretty accurate… I guess I am wondering how to know if my settings are off.

I guess part of my internal struggle is self inflicted. I have done things similar to Tara in the book, I have justified my sinful/selfish desires/actions and claimed God told me this is what He wanted. So, I also struggle with God’s call on my life now, because I don’t want to do that, so I tend to think all of my desires to do things are selfish and not from God. So, it is quite the opposite end of the pendulum swing. So, guess where this puts me? Frozen… frozen in fear that the things I do are not from God, so I don’t do anything. I feel like a ping pong ball sometimes, I have a great idea, and it could do a lot of good, but I don’t go forward because God didn’t tell me to…but the passion is still there…frustrating. And now I also hesitate to bounce my ideas off of people because I have so many that I usually end up sounding like a flake, so people tend to discredit any idea I have, that’s how I feel anyway. Which is also bad because that usually keeps me pretty isolated.

I know the Bible is truth. My struggle is how to test every day situations against the Bible to know if they are true. I am not sure if this makes any sense, but it is an internal struggle for me.